How I Discovered I’m Five People Away from Royalty
Today, I am excited to share some thoughts about what might be your most valuable career asset: your relationships.
The Six Degrees of Separation
Have you ever heard of the “six degrees of separation” theory? It suggests that any person on our planet is connected to any other person through a chain of no more than six social connections. This concept has fascinated researchers for decades, and I recently discovered its truth in my own life when I found out I was only five people away from the British royal family!
What is even more remarkable is that with technology and social media transforming our connectivity, many experts argue that this number has now decreased to just three or four degrees of separation. This means that the next major breakthrough in your career or business might be much closer than you imagine, perhaps just a few introductions away.
How I Started Small
Building a strong network did not come naturally to me at first. My relationship journey began in my teenage years when I was fortunate to discover the writings of John C. Maxwell, a renowned authority on leadership. His books contained a revelation that would shape my approach to life: relationships are more valuable than money, skills, or almost anything else we typically pursue.
To apply these principles in real life, I made a deliberate choice to volunteer with my church. This environment became my laboratory for relationship building. I learned to navigate personality differences, manage conflicts constructively, and build authentic connections that stood the test of time. The beauty of this approach was that it provided a low-pressure environment where I could make mistakes and grow without the high stakes of a professional setting.
Each interaction taught me something valuable. Some conversations flowed naturally, while others required more effort and patience. With every exchange, I developed a better understanding of how different people communicate and what builds trust across various personality types.
How I Stayed Consistent
One of the most powerful lessons I took from Maxwell’s teachings was the importance of continuously improving my communication skills, especially listening. Over years of practice, I developed a habit of regularly evaluating how well I was truly listening to others. This went beyond simply hearing words; it meant being fully present, absorbing not just the content but also the emotions and unspoken messages behind them.
I established a practice of asking for feedback from those closest to me: “How well am I listening to you? Do you feel heard and understood in our conversations?” These questions, though sometimes uncomfortable to ask, provided invaluable insights that helped me refine my approach to relationships.
The results have been transformative. These relationship skills directly contributed to securing an AVP position at a technology company and winning important business contracts for my venture. The compounding effect of small, consistent improvements in how I connect with others has created opportunities I never could have accessed through technical expertise alone.
The Compound Interest of Relationships
What makes this approach so powerful is its cumulative nature. Like financial investments that grow through compound interest, relationships cultivated with care and consistency create exponential returns over time. Each person you connect with meaningfully has their own network, potentially expanding your reach to hundreds or thousands of others.
The most successful people I know are not necessarily the most technically skilled or the most intelligent, they are often those who have mastered the art of building and nurturing genuine relationships. They understand that success rarely comes from isolation but rather through collaboration and connection.
Action Points
- Begin a Listening Journal: For the next week, after each significant conversation, take five minutes to reflect on how well you listened. Did you interrupt? Were you mentally preparing your response instead of fully hearing the other person? What could you improve next time? Document your insights and track your progress.
- Identify Your Relationship Circle: Draw a diagram with yourself at the center and map out your current connections in concentric circles based on closeness. Then identify strategic areas where expanding your network could create new opportunities. Commit to reaching out to one new person each week in those areas, starting with the simplest connection.
Remember, the path to extraordinary success is rarely traveled alone. Your next breakthrough might be just a conversation away, but that conversation can only happen if you are deliberately building bridges to new people and opportunities.
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