The Team I Almost Destroyed With My Perfectionism

Today I will be talking about another one out of the seven barriers to growth as I shared in my newsletter to you on April 26. This is called The Impossible Standard.

As I shared in our April newsletter, growth rarely happens by chance. It requires identifying and breaking through the invisible barriers that hold us back. Many people struggle with this particular barrier without even knowing it.

What Is The Impossible Standard?

The Impossible Standard happens when we expect ourselves to be perfect right from the start. We want everything we do to be flawless on the first try. We forget that every expert was once a beginner.

This barrier stops our growth because we become so afraid of not being perfect that we either do not start at all, or we become frustrated when things do not go exactly as planned.

My Personal Story

Let me tell you about a time when this barrier almost destroyed my confidence as a leader.

After about four years of working at KPMG, I was given my first big chance to lead. I was assigned to lead a team of smart professionals to deliver a project to a government organization.

I was so excited! But I was also scared. Because this was my first major leadership role, I wanted everything to be perfect, absolutely perfect.

I put huge pressure on myself. I expected to plan like the best leaders I had seen. I expected to communicate perfectly. I expected to manage the work without any problems.

But here is what I forgot: those leaders I admired had been doing this work for many years. Experience had taught them how to lead well. I was just starting.

I also expected my team to work exactly like I did when I was a team member. But I forgot that it took me years to learn how to be a good team player too.

This created big problems. I became frustrated with myself when things were not perfect. I became frustrated with my team when they did not meet my impossible expectations. There were many conflicts. The team was not working well together.

How Did Growth Happen?

After about three months of running a team that was not working well and felt like chaos, I was very frustrated. I was talking to my wife (who was my fiancé at that time) about all my problems.

She listened patiently, then said something that changed everything. She told me that I always have very high expectations of myself and others. She said it seemed like she had been waiting for the right time to tell me this!

She helped me understand something important: when I start with reasonable expectations, I can work better with myself and my team to slowly reach higher levels.

Instead of expecting perfection from day one, I could focus on getting a little better each day.

Growth happened when I decided to look past perfection and focus instead on continuous improvement.

I learned that good leaders are not perfect from the start. They become good by practicing, learning from mistakes, and improving over time.

When I changed my expectations, everything changed. My team started working better together. I became less stressed. The project became successful.

What This Means For You

Think about areas in your life where you might be trapped by the Impossible Standard:

• Do you avoid starting new things because you are afraid of not being perfect?
• Do you become frustrated when you are not as good as experts on your first try?
• Do you give up quickly when things do not go exactly as planned?
• Do you expect others to perform at levels that took you years to reach?

Every person you admire was once a beginner. Every expert made many mistakes while learning. Every successful person started with small steps, not giant leaps.

Perfect is the enemy of progress. When we aim for perfect, we often end up with nothing. When we aim for progress, we end up with growth.

Action Point

• Choose one area where you have been waiting to start because you want to be perfect. This week, give yourself permission to be a beginner. Take one small step, even if it is not perfect. Focus on learning and improving, not on being flawless from the start.

Remember: the goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to be better than you were yesterday.​

​

Too much information can leave you feeling stuck.

There’s advice everywhere, but not all of it is what you need right now.

Let me help you cut through the noise and focus on what will actually move you forward, whether that’s in your career, your business, or helping others do the same.

Click the link that best describes you:

• I want clear knowledge to move forward in my career – [Click here]​
  ​
• I need guidance to start or grow my business – Click here​
  ​
• I have a group that would benefit from learning how to overcome these barriers – Click here​

Let’s focus on what matters most, together. 

​

​