As we continue our series called How to Measure Success, today I want to talk about something close to all our hearts: Success in Relationship Goals.
Do you remember how we have been learning that success is not just about reaching the finish line? We have discovered that the journey matters just as much as the destination. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships with the people we love.
Most people care deeply about their relationships. We all want to be good friends, loving family members, and caring partners. But here is something interesting, while everyone values relationships, very few people actually set goals to make their relationships stronger.
Today, I want to share my own story about trying to build better relationships and what I learned along the way.
My Relationship Destination
Relationships are like gardens. When you take care of them, they grow beautiful and strong. When you ignore them, they slowly start to fade away. I realized that having strong relationships in every direction – with my wife, my children, my parents, my siblings, and even my extended family, could make every part of my life better.
Think about it, when you have people who love you and support you, everything else becomes easier. You feel happier, more confident, and ready to face challenges. Good relationships are like having a team of cheerleaders in your corner.
So I decided to be intentional about spending more time with the people I love. I learned something important, with quantity time comes quality time. This means that when you spend more time with someone, you naturally have better conversations and deeper connections.
I made a plan to spend more time with my wife, my kids, my siblings, my parents, and my extended family. Yes, even my in-laws! If you have read my previous newsletters, you know I love making plans and schedules. So I created a special schedule that told me which day and time to call different people.
I was excited about my plan. I imagined myself calling everyone every week, having wonderful conversations, and becoming closer to all the people I care about.
But here is what really happened, there were MANY weeks when I did not get to call everyone on my list. Not surprising, right?
My Relationship Journey
Even though I did not hit my weekly calling goals, something amazing started to happen. I began spending much more time with my loved ones within each month than I had before.
Before I made this plan, I could go many months without talking to some family members. This happened especially with people who live in different time zones, because it was hard to figure out when to call them.
But having a plan helped me call people much more often than before. And you know what? When I spent more quantity time with them, our quality time got so much better too.
Just the other day, I called my cousin whom I had not spoken to in a long time. We ended up talking for almost an hour, just catching up on life, sharing stories, and laughing together. For someone like me, who used to go months without calling family, this felt like a huge victory.
The best part is that these conversations did not feel forced or awkward. When you make time for people regularly, talking to them becomes natural and enjoyable. It is like exercising, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
I also noticed that my relationships with my wife and children got stronger. When you intentionally create time to be with the people you live with, you start having better conversations, more fun moments, and deeper connections.
Key Lesson
Relationships are incredibly important. Everyone values them, but very few people intentionally set goals to make them better. You may not want to create a schedule like I did, but I encourage you to find your own way to intentionally spend more time with the people you love.
When you create the time, it will be easier for you to find what to do with the time. This means that once you decide to spend time with someone, you will naturally think of things to talk about or do together.
And here is the most important part, even if you do not spend as much time as you planned, remember to celebrate how far you have come from where you started. Progress is still progress, even if it is not perfect.
Every phone call you make, every dinner conversation you have, every hug you give is building stronger relationships. These small moments add up to create big changes in how close you feel to the people you care about.
Action Point
- This week, choose one person you love but have not talked to in a while. It could be a family member, an old friend, or someone who means a lot to you. Set aside 30 minutes to call them or spend time with them. Do not worry about having a perfect conversation, just focus on connecting and showing them you care. Notice how good it feels to strengthen that relationship, and consider making this a regular habit.
Remember, relationships are like muscles, they get stronger when you use them regularly. Every moment you invest in the people you love is creating a happier, more connected life.
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